We are biologically hardwired to constantly seek more. Our hearts and minds are never satisfied, no matter how much we have. Our body runs on the basis of homeostasis, or the state of balance actively maintained in order to survive. This means that equilibrium is necessary, so it shouldn’t be surprising to hear that our body cannot tolerate a period of high or a slump for very long.
In my own experience and from observations of my peers, there is a tendency to live life in a way structured around achievements or the highlighted “good parts”. And while these are certainly motivating factors that push us through the rough patches, we often end up missing out on the in-between.
Recently, I caught myself saying, “Can it be ______ already?” and then when the much desired day arrived, I was either not as excited as I had anticipated or I just forgot that I had longed for this day and started saying the above question for the next point in time.
Don’t get me wrong; having goals and working towards them is healthy and quite essential. However, if the future is all we are living for, we neglect the beauty of the present. To put it into perspective, perhaps you can think of it like this:
Days, months, or years ago, your past self was dreaming to get to where you are now.
Your past self was asking for it to be your present already. Surely, there must have been something we so earnestly desired. Was it the fact that we’d be in high school? Or perhaps that we’d be more independent and confident and accomplished? And yet, what are we doing now that we are here? We are looking for the next phase, unable to realize that everything we’ve wanted and worked for has ultimately brought us to this moment. To these eye-opening opportunities, these beautiful friendships, these heartbreaks that I’d like to view as ‘these wonderful possibilities for growth.’
So, I suppose all I can provide to you now are lessons I’ve learned and strive to apply:
Give generously and freely, whether it’s our time or knowledge. Whether it came easily for you or not. Whether you feel they deserve it or not because there was or will come a time when you need generosity even if you haven’t earned it.
Realize that it’s unhealthy to find worth in another person. Even if they seem like your whole world, remember that you form your identity and your relationships are parts of you, not your everything.
Choose to smile, even when it’s hard. Trust me, I know that some days and weeks will bring you down again and again, but also believe me on this: it does get better. Maybe not now, maybe not next month, but it will. Our issues will not go away at the flick of a wrist, but I believe we can certainly begin to be more purposeful with our actions and thoughts and make up our minds to get out of this insatiable pattern.
And allow integrity, love, and patience guide not only your actions towards others, but first and foremost, your attitude toward yourself.
Stop asking to skip to the good part. Let’s start enjoying all the life that happens in-between.
As Written by Lois 