Just a Girl

“You’re just a girl.”

Maybe you should stick to drawing or singing.

It’s not very ladylike of you to sit like that.

Proper little girls don’t laugh like that. 

You throw like a girl.

You were clearly asking for it.

You would be prettier if you lost just a little bit of weight.

You eat a lot for a girl!

You’re not wearing makeup? Oh. You just look a bit tired, that’s all.

Why are you so emotional?

Why are you so serious?

You’re on your period? No wonder.

You’re so feminine!

You’re not like most girls.

Honey, remember that marrying a rich man is sensible. 

Don’t be so loud and opinionated; it’s off putting.

How do you plan on balancing work and being a mother?

You’re so pretty! How are you not in a relationship yet?

Don’t worry about this. The men have it handled. 

Are you sure you understood that?

Man up!

Well, it’s women’s basketball. What did you expect?

There are two women in this house, but still no dinner on the table.

If you act like that, no man is going to like you. 

You’re a feminist, aren’t you?

We just celebrated Women’s History Month. I am purposefully posting this on the day after to emphasize that while a month of remembrance is important, this striving for equality and respect should be sought continuously and constantly.

For this purpose, I’ve chosen to focus on a topic called subtle sexism. The comments I listed above were compiled over the past month from my personal experiences, anecdotes from peers, and observations from the media. The most upsetting, but unfortunately not appalling fact was that such sexist comments are so common and part of everyday speech. 

Subtle sexism is discrimnation directed towards women that is accepted as “normal” or even “good-natured.” For example, one of the most common phrases girls hear while growing up is, “If you lost weight, you’d be so pretty!” or something to that effect. It sounds rather considerate and almost like a compliment, hiding the fact that it’s setting a beauty standard based on specific physical attributes rather than personal preferences or even the quality of character. 

Some of these phrases are so ingrained in our modern speech that the underlying sexism did not even occur to me until recently. Women are labeled as bossy and arrogant rather than assertive and powerful, referred to as the “mother” of the group or office (as a joke, of course!), and apologized to when the men have cursed or discussed a raunchy topic. By glazing over such horribly sexist speech so easily, we perpetuate this pattern of rather nonconsciously depicting women as mothers, emotional, delicate and needing protection, and inferior in one way or another.

Even sexism that doesn’t stem from malicious intent needs to be addressed and and corrected. When we hear these words, we should be offended and we need to clarify that such words are unacceptable. Women and men alike, we can counter subtle sexism by our own personal efforts to be more conscious of the language we use.

I am a self-declared, proud feminist.

I will act the way I wish.

There are also two men in this house. Let’s cook together.

Well, these women are just as determined, strong, and capable.

Be strong! Take control! Step up!

I understood that perfectly well the first time.

I will help you.

Regardless of my physical attractiveness, I don’t wish to be in a relationship at the moment.

I plan on giving my all in both jobs. It’s not different from how fathers balance it.

I am assertive and confident. I have worthy opinions and I believe I should be heard.

Mom, I’ll be rich.

Most girls are perfect and beautiful and unique.

There is nothing wrong with a more feminine woman or a more masculine woman.

Yes, I am on my period. Let’s normalize discussing that.

I’m not being serious. I just wasn’t smiling.

I am a human being. I have emotions.

Wearing makeup or not is my personal choice and you should not be commenting on that.

I eat how much I eat. There is no reason why you should be surprised.

I am beautiful the way I am. Losing weight or not is a personal choice and journey.

I did not ask for it. I am not the problem. She was not the problem.

Throwing like a girl means a strong throw, not a flimsy one.

My natural laugh is beautiful and unique.

I am sitting in a normal, comfortable human position.

If I want to sing or draw, I will. If I want to write revolutionary and timeless classics, I will. If I want to guide the construction of the Brooklyn Bridge, I will.

I’m just a girl.