Merry Christmas!! I hope every single one of you is having a wonderful holiday season and receiving many blessings, whether material or through relationships.
Maybe it’s the holiday spirit that’s taken control of me, but whatever it is, I’m glad I’ve become reflective lately. Specifically, I’ve particularly become deeply appreciative of love. Looking back, I have experienced so much love from my friends, unexpectedly my coworkers, and my family.
To start off, my coworkers were an unexpected addition to my life this year when I got my first job. I was extremely nervous to have to adjust to so many things at once: a full-time job, a new culture, working late nights, and a new environment overall. But everyone made me feel welcome and although there were certainly rough patches at first with certain people or with getting on the rhythm, I quickly became adjusted due to their welcoming and warm energy. As we have grown closer, their love has never shied from expressing itself and that with extreme care and detail.
In terms of friends, the sheer number of relationships I made this year and just watching the level of trust I was able to build (or not) with each of them made me more appreciative of the people who have stayed to this moment. I’ve made new friends this year that have caused me to feel a sense of safety and trust that I could never find in anyone else. Although I had people who I could share happy moments with, I didn’t have anyone I could tell my painful experiences to without feeling judged or doubted. Yet, for the first time in life, I made the decision for myself that I could tell my deepest secrets (nothing too dark haha) to my closest friends. They have shown me so much reliability and trustworthiness that even when I’m not constantly with them, I feel them backing me up. They have genuinely affirmed the love I know I deserve.
As for my family, a quarter of it was missing for this entire year with my brother’s enlistment. But even his absence has rather made me more grateful for his presence in my life. Even when he’s not in his room everyday whenever I need to talk to him, I am able to rely and depend on his advice and care delivered from hundreds of miles away. And my parents likely experienced similar struggles with having to send off their son, but I’m so proud of the changes and positive growth our family has made individually and together. Just due to a cultural uncomfortability, explicitly expressing love is never too common in many Asian families. It wasn’t too developed in ours either. But this year, it was a bit better. Maybe it was my brother being gone, so I felt I should always end every call or text with “I love you.” just in case it was the last time or he didn’t hear it enough lately. Or maybe it was being able to develop a more adult relationship with my parents as I became more independent while also realizing that I wouldn’t have them forever.
Love is such a precious thing, and yet, we take it for granted. It takes a loss or life change or just a long period of time for us to truly appreciate. But that more likely than not comes with the risk that it’s too late to express your love. So I’ve realized that love should be more openly given. Because everyone deserves it. And you deserve it.
Today’s message from my pastor poked my heart when he said something to this effect: People who do not feel love or have not felt love cannot truly be human. But the reality is that every single person on this Earth has been loved. We wouldn’t be here otherwise because when we were helpless babies with no thoughts or abilities, somebody took the time and dedication to care for us. We are simply denying that we are worthy of or have received love when we have all been given and do indeed deserve love.
He described God’s love being something so special because salvation can only be found and thus explained by love. And this got me to list the different kinds of love I could think of:
- The love He has given us through His giving of His Son and Jesus’ giving of his own life.
- The love we experience from God on a daily basis.
- The love we experience from others, who, I believe, are blessings from God.
- The love we give to others.
- The love we give to God in reverence and gratitude.
- And finally, the love we feel we individually deserve and how we love ourselves.
Love is such a strange thing because the love we receive causes us to love ourselves, but we can only truly receive love when we love ourselves. This is the basic conclusion I made from my pastor when he said, “Only when you believe can you truly feel love. Love’s power can only be expressed when it is believed in. But love’s power is the ability to CAUSE us to believe.”
As I described earlier, I think love is in everything. It’s in every person we meet because they have their own perceptions of love they think they deserve and the love they have or have not received. It’s in every success and, I think, moreso in every failure because it wouldn’t make sense to constantly discourage and hurt ourselves and take risks for something we don’t love.
For me, writing is something I have done for such a long time and I consider it my gift and my greatest accomplishments involve writing to some effect. Yet, it has certainly not come without its larger share of failures and moments when I would question why and who I was doing this for. But then, because of the immense love I have for writing, I realize I write because I love it and I write for myself and the people around me.
I believe we all have something worth experiencing failure over and people worth risking heartbreak (romantic, familial, platonic, whatever) over. This is because love makes us human. The ability to experience, to feel, to receive, to understand, to give love is what makes up our humanity. The moment we accept love is the moment we realize we are genuinely so precious. Both in the earthly sense that every life is priceless, but also in the belief that we are all precious in God’s sight.
And this acceptance of love for ourselves causes us to become more appreciative of everything in our life, no matter the circumstances.
As Written by Lois 