Why do you doubt every idea you have?
Why do you waver over every character you type?
Why do you draw X’s over your itches?
Why don’t you ever just scratch until you draw blood?
Because it’s hard to believe that I’m a writer.
Because ‘what if’ I say the wrong thing?
Because I don’t want to get hurt.
Because I know how much hurting hurts.
One day, one out of thousands,
I’ll reach down and slightly crunch my fingers
Into the perfect position
And etch out a few scratches, maybe more, if I’ll let me,
On this blank paper canvas.
One day,
I will scratch this itch I have. This strange,
Overwhelming desire I cannot physically ignore.
I get it randomly during the most inconvenient times like
When I’m driving and really shouldn’t open my notes app,
Or when I’m showering so I really shouldn’t get my phone wet,
Or even when I don’t have my phone so I really should carry a notebook,
Or when I’m so sick of trying to scratch that itch and failing to make a mark worthwhile.
Because too often, it’s hard to believe that I’m a writer.
I have an itch to scratch.
Oh, when will I finally be proud of myself?
As Written by Lois 